The Least We Tiny Humans Can Do
by BLOC V.X
Summary: Maes Hughes stumbled closer and closer to a telephone booth, a hand on his shoulder attempting to slow blood loss. "Don't go any further, Brigadier General Hughes." "That's a different voice from before- neat trick, homunculus..." "The homunculus is dead, Brigadier General.""I should've figured as much, she got my name right the first time."


Lieutenant Colonel Maes Hughes stared at the map in shock, recognizing the transmutation circle from the Fullmetal Alchemist's sketch that morning. "I've got to tell the Fuhrer right away!" he said.

The door shut, and his head did not turn as he heard the words "Hello Lieutenant Colonel, it's nice to meet you. Well, actually-"

 _'Push knife in back slot, and two above my shoes. Do I have any other weapons? If worst comes to worst, I'll have to push one of these bookshelves onto her.'_

"Hello isn't really the word I'm looking for."

* * *

Lust tossed away the push knife she'd pulled from her forehead. ' _It's up to Envy now- I only need to confirm the kill._ ' She thought, wiping off the excess blood. Leaving the building, she found the trail of blood and followed it as far as a turn in the darkened road.

"Target acquired. Aim carefully and release the trigger."

Lust stepped to the side and sliced the ammunition in half, before running to the origin of the sound and finding an unattended weapon in the bushes, shaped much like a gun. Tied to the trigger was a string, which she followed with her eyes to a tree.

A sound like a quiet engine began whirling nearby, and she turned to this now, distracted, and was greeted by flames approaching 3,800 degrees. From behind Lust thought she could hear a voice say "Estimated original length, forty-five seconds. Adjusted length, nineteen. Margin for error, five percent."

The homunculus clawed at the ground, and tried to get out of the way of the flames, but they seemed to follow her, if she made any ground at all. All the while a young woman behind her watched with her thumb on a stopwatch and the fire reflecting on her goggles, and when the body stopped moving, she pressed it and stopped the flames.

"Twenty point four seconds, within expected range. Pursuing next target." The woman grabbed the flamethrower, only to find it emptier than expected. ' _Was it set too high?_ ' she wondered, before dismantling the machine and kicking its pieces into the sewers, taking only the gun as she left the scene to continue her mission.

* * *

Maes Hughes stumbled closer and closer to a telephone booth, a hand on his shoulder attempting to slow blood loss.

"Don't go any further, Brigadier General Hughes."

Hughes twisted his neck, wincing as he did so, and saw the dark outline of a woman approaching. "That's a different voice from before- neat trick, homunculus..." He gave a pained grin, but tried to turn too fast, and ended up falling onto the ground.

The woman ran too him and held his wrist, preventing his push knife from being thrown with any notable force. "The homunculus is dead, Brigadier General."

"I should've figured as much, she got my name right the first time." He made a mental note to take on some additional grunt work later to compensate for not realizing immediately, but remembering he wouldn't be doing much work any time soon, with his arm in its current condition.

Hughes looked up at the person helping him. Now that she was under a light, he could see the girl's green eyes looking back at him through transparent goggles. "A pretty girl helping me up? I must have ascended or something. Just in case I'm still alive I'll ask you- who sent you here, since it definitely wasn't some little known bureau?"

The young woman put Hughes' arm around her shoulder and began walking with him away from the phone booth. "If I told you my name, there would be more further explaining than we have time for right now." She dug in a pocket with her free hand and pulled out a piece of paper, a map, shaking it out to unfold and looked it over before saying "there's a doctor named Knox who lives just a few minutes away by car. Do you think you can make the block and a half to my vehicle?"

"Yeah, so long as I have help- and it's about time I said hello to Dr. Knox anyway, I haven't seen him since the war," Hughes said as he stumbled, tripping over his other foot. "Sorry to be such a burden, but then, you seem completely prepared for this situation."

"It'll be easier for you to walk if you stop talking, Brigadier General. No, Lieutenant Colonel?"

Hughes wondered at how someone who seemed to be so competent kept making such a basic mistake, before coming to a realization. "You aren't in the military, are you?" he asked. "I hadn't considered it before since every action of yours seems efficient and no-nonsense, but that's it, isn't it?"

"I am in _a_ military." She elaborated no more, and Hughes asked no more.

As they had been walking, the placement of streetlights meant that for a few seconds here and there the two were in darkness, though they could see around them well enough. As they began to near the vehicle this changed, as two lamps in a row had been cracked by children with stones, and never repaired by the capital's underpaid and apathetic contractors. It was in this darkness that Hughes fell over and cried out as he felt his ankle twist. While young woman tried to help him up again, he'd landed with his good right leg over the newly injured left one, and attempts to stand up were met with pressure on his ankle.

"Just bring the car back here, it should only take a minute anyway," he said, cringing. "I'll be fine until then, at least."

"I can't, it's a miracle it hasn't found us yet as it is." The woman said in a rising tone, and began to drag Hughes across the ground.

"You sound panicked- isn't the homunculus dead? Didn't you say that yourself?" Hughes said between coughs, and bit his lip to keep from yelling every time a pebble or stone scraped him. "I'm beginning to get suspicious- there's no reason for me to trust you, right?" He considered struggling free, but knew he wouldn't be able to. ' _She hasn't killed me up to now, and I do need to get to a hospital, quickly,_ ' he rationalized it, but knew in his heart he simply trusted her, without knowing why. After they reached the car and he crawled onto the floor of it, he felt in his pocket for the comforting photograph of his wife Gracia and daughter Elicia, and he didn't even consider using it to swat a mosquito buzzing near him. From below he could hear a dripping sound.

The woman slammed the door shut and walked with long, reaching steps to the drivers door, climbing in and locking it. She turned the key. A sound like wheezing came from the engine, then stopped. She turned the key back, and again on. The result did not change.

The dashboard grew visible as it was lit red from the backseat. She pivoted in her seat, catching Hughes' eyes on the floor, full of terror, before looking up and seeing that on the middle seat, crouching with a wide smile on its face as it looked from above at Hughes, and Hughes looked at it, was the homunculus known as Envy.

"I. Found. You!"

The mosquito had stopped buzzing.

* * *

The woman knocked him in the head with her gun, before aiming. "Target Acquir-" She pulled the trigger and shot Envy. Unlike when Lust was attacked, the ammunition here seemed to be a ball of energy, not a bullet, and the entire car lit up again as it went directly through Envy, tearing it apart along with the upper half of the vehicle behind the drivers seat. The remnants of the homunculus flew back half a city block, but even from that distance they could tell from the red glow that it was regenerating.

"What the! What was that?" the homunculus shouted at them, and saw as the young woman ran out of the car and in front of a truck, waving her arms. It stopped as Envy got back to his feet with a smile, "I wasn't expecting a challenge tonight! I don't know what kind of alchemy that is, but nothing can defeat a homunculus! Noth-" its boasts turned to screams as the weapon was fired once again, buying time to transfer Hughes into the truck.

"Monster! What is that thing?" the driver shrieked, as the door was closed.

"Drive!" the woman said, and he obeyed out of instinct and fear. The truck sped along at twice the posted speed limit as it passed the 'corpse' in the road, getting to its feet once again. "We need to get to the warehouse district, do you know where that is?" she asked.

The driver nodded and did his best to stop his chin from quivering, and began to slow down to the normal speed until another foot pressed down on the gas beside his own.

"That thing, it isn't going to give up just because we drove away." Hughes said, before biting his lip so hard it bled as his hurt ankle felt the pressure of holding down the pedal, and he did his best to ignore it, not knowing if the driver might slow down again should he move it. "Why the warehouse district?" he asked through clenched teeth, before giving in just a little and releasing a gasp.

"I thought we had a slight chance of evading it for the night, but that didn't happen," the woman told him, keeping an eye on the street below for signs the homunculus had caught up. "It found us, so the plan changed- you will be returning with me."

Hughes waited for a further explanation of why they were going to the warehouses, but got none after the woman spotted the homunculus running at top speed in the rear view mirror, and hoped objects in the mirror truly did appear closer than they were. "Take a sharp right ahead, we'll be taking a detour." she directed the driver leaning forward so that Hughes' body didn't muffle the sound waves but was too late, the turn was half past when she spoke.

To her amazement, he tried anyway to make the turn, and the truck tipped over as the front left wheel collided with the curb. They braced for the slam into the ground, and covered their faces as the windows shattered into pieces from scraping the ground. Among the confusion and noise a bump came from the roof, which was now the woman's door, and a shadow came over them as the homunculus reached in and pulled her by the neck of her shirt up out of the wreck.

"No one has stayed alive this long after I set out to kill them before. Be glad- you broke the record!" Envy laughed, as she struggled with his arm trying to keep from choking. It laughed even more at this, before crying out in pain as Hughes planted a knife in its foot. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot about you, Lieutenant Colonel!"

"Brigga.. dear gen.. oroll." the choking woman got out before getting a good grip on Envy's arm and lifting herself, just enough that she could breath. "I can't ignore those who forget proper ranks." With her new support, she kicked its head as hard as she could, a kick so weak the homunculus barely turned its face. For a moment she wondered if he was made of copper, before realizing the ringing in the air was from the clock above parliament.

"What? I know the ranks of your military from Wrath, and I know B.G. is two higher than L.C. No way is this loser even within a decade of that promotion!" Envy said with a squished face, as her boot was on his cheek. "Unless of course I help him along- but you first!" It spun around a second before tossing her into the river, and she knocked into one of those boats which deals in shipping goods to and from the warehouses before sliding into the water, unconscious.. The homunculus turned back to Hughes, "looks like it's not your lucky day, Brigadier General." he said in a mocking tone, and Hughes clutched the photograph of his family and grimaced, before feeling a sharp pain in his chest, and then nothing at all.

* * *

The young woman woke up to the sun blinding her as she lay on the ground aside the river, washed up in the night. "Where am I." It wasn't a real question so much as an automatic response from watching so many movies in which this situation occurred. She did remember; she was in Central City, the capital, in the year 1914. Her mission, to save Brigadier General Hughes, no, he was still Lieutenant Colonel Hughes now, had ended in failure. Again. She pushed off the ground with her hands and stood up and looked around. ' _I'm at the warehouse district? Convenient_.' She walked slowly and with care at first, cautious in case there was an injury she hadn't noticed yet. Then she ran to warehouse eleven and slid open the side door, after making sure there were no workers nearby.

In the corner a lone shipping container lay, with a heavy padlock guarding the door. She took a key from her pocket and opened the door. Stepping inside, she pulled off a large and abrasive tarp, revealing the machine underneath, about the size of a personal vehicle with seating for two.

Sensing her presence, the only door opened automatically, and she ducked beneath the low entry way as she climbed in, pulling closed the door as she did. The dashboard, nearly covered with switches and buttons, lit up with glowing light blue and green and the chronometer's analog numbers flipped with a shuffling sound as the quiet electric engine turned on. '13:52' were the plates it stopped on, and she began pressing the buttons below it until the second clock read '-17:30', then lifted a small Plexiglas lid bordered with black and yellow stripes, pulled the red lever underneath up and then down.

She closed her eyes as the engine whirled faster, and began to shake underneath her. Through her eyelids the light could be seen, and her muscles tensed and compensated for the shaking of the engine. In just a few moments the light died, and the engine cut. She relaxed her muscles, and took a deep breath before her eyelids rose and she could see in the dim glow of the lights built into the dash.

The young woman opened the door and stepped out, covered the machine with the tarp and locked the door of large metal cargo box. She took no caution this time as no workers were about, and she knew it. The situation had played out the same way half a dozen times already. Sliding open the side door she stepped out, and waited a moment for her eyes to adjust to the night, and did a few stretches in the cool air before rushing off, hoping to locate the homunculus who wounded Hughes' shoulder before they could do so.

* * *

The windows of the crashing truck shattered as they scraped the sidewalk. A thud came from above, from the woman's door, and the homunculus smiled as it pulled her up.

"You're pretty hard to kill, for a human." Envy said as it lifted her into the air, just high enough her feet couldn't touch the truck. She struggled to get a good grip on his arm as its boneless form keep changing, twisting and wriggling like a snake to keep her hands from succeeding. A knife was pushed down, and the homunculus cried out and cursed, before seeing Hughes' hand on its hilt. "Ah, I'd forgotten about you, Maes Hughes!"

With Envy distracted, the woman managed to get a good grip on its arm. ' _Only one chance for this to work- I won't survive another collision with that ship,_ ' she thought as she put all of her weight and force into a powerful kick. The homunculus' face mushed together a little as her boot made contact with its right cheek.

"Huh? You survive up until now and yet this is how you plan to kill me?" it said, and she forced an unnatural chuckle.

' _If nothing else, that will unnerve him for a moment,_ ' she thought, and smiled as she heard the clock above parliament begin to chime. ' _Perfect timing._ ' Once. Twice. On the third chime Envy's face deformed far more than the kick caused, as a high caliber bullet traveled into it and continued as it went through his arm as well, dropping the woman.

"Huht nuh tekk!" the homunculus tried to yell as his vocal chords regenerated.

She reached into the truck and grabbed her gun, then tumbled off the truck as Envy kicked her in the stomach. She curled around the weapon and crashed back-first into a tree, knocking the wind out of her. The homunculus turned its arm into a scythe and jumped down to rush to her.

The woman's head began to spin. Crashing in a truck four times, being knocked into a ship twice, getting knocked into a tree; that one was new, at least. With double vision she could see Envy approaching her and tried to aim with unsure hands. ' _Am I pointing it at the right one?_ ' she wondered, and put a hand to her head.

The anonymous sniper she'd hired, lying on a rooftop across the river, weighed the options. ' _Do I shoot whatever that thing is again and try to save her, or take the money and run?_ ' he wondered. "Why can't things be as simple as in Ishval- here's your enemy, point and shoot." His empathy kicked in, and he took aim again.

* * *

Envy lost his head again. ' _It can't see,_ ' she realized, and crawled up to him.

"Weapon mode is decomposer; all matter will be destroyed. Please aim carefully and pull the trigger," the gun emitted in a high pitched, synthesized voice. She felt for his leg, hoping no eyes had regenerated yet. ' _Was its stone in the head or chest?_ ' she wondered, and with closed eyes to prevent double vision from affecting her aim used her arms to wrap around his leg, and aimed up before pulling the trigger.

The small amount of recoil felt much heavier to her, but it was only a few seconds of suspense and terror before the leg disintegrated into dust.

The driver helped Hughes out of the wreck and to the woman, who had crawled back to the tree and sat against it resting, drawing heavy breaths. "Who are you?" Hughes asked.

She looked at him and the double vision had faded, leaving only the true Maes Hughes, and she smiled. "In the future, an alchemist created time travel by transmuting time-space, the fabric of the universe itself. I've spent the past few years preparing to return to this time and save you from the homunculi. Hello, father."


End file.
